you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
