Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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