i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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