yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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