Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
