Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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