He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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