like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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