hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
