I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
