I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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