Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
