Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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