it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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