seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
