I want to walk on stilts...naked
never play flip cup with pint glasses
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
