You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
