your parents love me but you hate me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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