Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
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