The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
