nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
