first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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