Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
