Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
