is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
