just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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