He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
