Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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