Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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