the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
