oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
