i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
