I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
