I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
