Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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