Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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