So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
