Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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