You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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