He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
