I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he thought i was a dude.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
