is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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