just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
