i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize