I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
