Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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