Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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