Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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