I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
