just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
