fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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