After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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