Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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