I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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