it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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