you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
