We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
