Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
