So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
