Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
