i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
