Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
