That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
even my farts smell like vagina
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
