No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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