sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
