is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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