I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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